Do I deserve to be here?

No, this is not a whine about my lot in life ;). I went to my first Early Start play group the other day. All families with kids under three in the county-wide Early Start program are invited to a bi-monthly play date in a special preschool classroom with some of the Early Start teachers and aids. The director of the program is so welcoming, the teachers and aids are so friendly and helpful, and the other moms are lovely. I really liked everyone there, but I almost felt like I had it too good to be there. Some of the kids have muscle tone issues, one has a feeding tube, one was born with half a heart, some have vision issues, and one has autistic tendencies but no diagnosis. These kids are all just as lovable as Peter, and I am sure their parents love them as much as we love Peter, but I couldn't help feeling like I was so lucky. Peter needs hearing aids, a cochlear implant, and some intense therapy to catch up in the hearing and speech areas, but he should be age-appropriate by first grade, if not sooner. Some of the Early Start kids might never be anywhere near normal. Some kids born with half a heart don't make it to first grade. I felt like maybe I didn't deserve to get all these free services when other people have so much more complicated situations. I felt like my developmentally on-target 85%ile, healthy baby was too normal....I do know that without early intervention Peter could face severe challenges, so logically I do know we need the Early Start services. We will keep attending because I really do like everyone at the playgroup, and I guess it's not such a bad thing to feel like you've got it good.

How do they know he needs those?

I was carrying Peter in a sling, and he was wearing his cute blue hearing aids when i was approached by a stranger who asked me out of the blue "How do they know he needs those?". I know she was just curious, and that she meant well, and maybe my standards are too exacting, but I felt like an "Excuse me,...." or "I just noticed, and I was wondering..." would have been a more polite approach. Ok, skip over the etiquette lecture. I figured it's good practice for all the questions I'm sure will come if/when my little guy has bionic ears. I answered politely, and hoped to spread some knowledge about the impact of Universal Newborn Hearing Screenings. I explained how the tests in the hospital are able to measure a newborn's brain's reaction to noise (earbud, electrode on the forehead) and that they weren't asking a baby to "raise your hand when you hear the beep" ;) I didn't get into the intricacies of the more in-depth ABR or otoacoustic emissions test, as the woman was already gushing over how lucky he was that we were able to catch the hearing loss early. I agree. We were lucky our state has Universal Screening. We were lucky our child was born now, and not in an era where haring less wasn't diagnosed until 2-3, or later. We were lucky hearing loss is now treated in a family setting instead of recommending institutionalisation. We are lucky that insurance covers the cochlear implant that Peter is most likely a candidate for. We are lucky just because we have such a wonderful baby. The only bum luck was that the last governor vetoed a bill to require insurance to cover pediatric hearing aids. Peter is lucky that the expense didn't delay us in getting him aided, but I imagine there are plenty of kids who have to wait while their parents apply for grants, or hope to get loaners or used aids at a discount. How lucky I am strangers can come up and ask me about Peter's hearing aids!

He's a hit with the ladies...

Peter is a cute baby. I know they pretty much all are cute, but my guy is adorable! Add in the blue hearing aids, and women are falling all over him! And since he is so visual, they are all amazed how alert/ tuned in/ attentive he is, but since that is his main source of information I am not surprised. I do wonder if he would be so popular if these women knew he is the kind of guy who is always putting his foot in his mouth, literally! Today Peter successfully shoved his foot in his mouth and started sucking his big toe. He also just last night starting trying to nurse and soothe his gums (teeth soon?)- and my yelping was heard by the rest of my family, but not Peter. I will have to come up with a different strategy to thwart that uncomfortable behavior. Maybe if I told him most women don't like biters, either ;)

Another ball to juggle

Peter is great, growing, rolling over, grabbing at things....now I can't let him wear his hearing aids in the car because he grabs them out and sticks them in his mouth. Maybe once we get the new ear molds the aids won't come out as easily, but until then I will leave them in if his oldest sister is sitting next to him, as she can gently take them from him, but that doesn't happen every car ride. Though, She might be next to him for a lot more car rides in the near future- I pulled her out of public school to do online school for a while, due to an ineffective teacher she was assigned to for this year. This might be an exercise in insanity to homeschool her, but I choose to hope that: 1) having Sydney around when Peter's Speech Therapist visits will be a great way for her to learn how to help Peter learn, 2) going to the Early Start play groups will give Sydney experience with kids with lots of different challenges, which could be a great foundation for helping others throughout her life and 3)that the online school and enrichment classes give her a strong academic base and she even gets ahead of first grade curriculum. One of my concerns about the teacher she was assigned to was that by the time the problems were obvious (and there have been problems every year) it would be right around the time Peter is due to have surgery, and I wouldn't have the resources (emotional or time-wise) to deal with the problems or get her caught up. So, I add another ball to the others I am juggling, and hoping they don't all land on my head. PS getting those new earmolds made - you would have thought we were amputating a limb - Peter did NOT like goop in his ears, so thank goodness it only takes a couple minutes on each side!